from the porches

dear mom,

Dear Mom,

You would love the color around here in North Florida.  The purple phlox and coreopsis are "eye-popping"!

I saw an eagle between here and High Springs yesterday.  But, today, the eagle was flying over our property.  You would have thrown up your hands and gasped!  And we would have named it.

I am near the end of the C.J. Box book.  I'm down to the exciting part.  I'm like you.  I'm not rushing to the end of the book because I don't want it to be over because then I will have nothing to read.  Soon, I'm purchasing every C.J. Box book known to mankind; and I will never, ever, ever lend them out for others to get addicted to!

Those puppies.  Oh, my word do they miss you.  I've been sitting on the couch with them in front of the TV while Truett naps.  I'm also making every effort to be their surrogate mom.  Wait! I am their mom.  How come they love you better than me???

Of course, Roger rules the roost and Punky is his side-kick.  Clay will be going back to Lake Butler this week.  Rehab appointments as usual, as well as Lion's Club.  We're hoping to see Merry Jennifer, Sam and the grandchildren this weekend. 

And, most importantly, I miss you!

Sincerely,

Merry

 

 

 

 

i didn't know

I didn't know how hard it was to have my mother leave for England today.  My friends said, "Oh, now you will have 'free time'. 

"Free time?" 

Mom is easy.  She is not "free time."

About a month ago, Mom and I were sitting on the front porch, as usual.  Of course, she was re-living her cancer stories and I had had about enough. 

"Mom," I said.  "Why don't you visit Susan in England?"

"Do you think I could?" she asked.

"Of, course!  You've been in remission for a year.  You're as sharp as a tack. Of course you can do it.  Even though you are two years shy of 90, of course you can do it!"

And that settled that!  Thanks to Susan for arranging wheelchairs and luxury seating!

So, today, April 20, 2012, I drove Mom to the Gainesville airport for a two week visit to see Susan and Larry in England.

I didn't know how hard it would be for me.   I didn't know how empty I would feel after I came back home. 

I just didn't know.

I went to the porch around 3:00 p.m., as we always did.

I sat in my rocking chair and watched for birds; and then then I looked over at Mom's rocking chair. . . and I broke down crying.

My mom is my best friend. 

I realized I have to change my routine  while Mom is away so I don't fall apart.  Mom and I sat on the porches every day from 3:00-4:00 p.m., right before I began supper.

I tried my best to love the puppies today.  But, they would not settle in with me.

I didn't know how hard it would be to have my mother leave.

I just didn't know.

 

 

the miracle & the tag

A couple of weeks ago my mom had me look at a skin tag just below her right eye.  "What is it?  Do you think it's a cancer?" she asked.

Oh, Lord.  I knew that this skin tag caused by skin irritation would become a problem.  I showed Mom information I printed from the internet.  Skin tags are often caused by friction . . . and um, my mom spends many hours a day resting in her bed.

Finally, I called her Dermatologist, who has removed cancerous cells on Mom before, and I made Mom an appointment. 

Mom leaves for England on April 20, so I knew this problem had to be resolved.  The worrying and worrying about cancer got the best of me, plus the skin tag had become bloody red.

Finally, I called my daughter, an Oncologist, and asked, "Did I do right?  Should I have gotten Mom an appointment with Dr. Lynch, her Oncologist, or should I have made an appointment with her Dermatologist?"

MJ conceded that I did the right thing.  If, in fact, this skin tag was cancerous, the Dermatologist would remove it.

Well, lo and behold, a MIRACLE happened today!

Mom rushed to the kitchen shrieking, "It's a MIRACLE! The thing is gone from my face!"

Thank you, Jesus!

Now, I will cancel Mom's Dermatologist appointment.

Do you think I should tell Mom not to lay in the bed all day, irritating her skin?

beware

Today may well have been my last walk into the wetlands of Shands Rehab Hospital at Magnolia Park.  It is no longer winter; and spring insects and creatures are emerging.

You see, one year ago when Truett was at Rehab, I would diligently follow behind him with his wheelchair in the rehab facility.  For months I did this . . . until I broke. 

Then I vowed that I would not do that again.  No.  This time around I would give me my time.  Time to explore with my camera. 

So I missed all of last spring's nature awakenings in the wetlands. . . mosquitoes, snakes, dragonflies . . . or whatever else lurked there.

During the fall and winter months I had no fear of the wetlands at Shands Rehab wetlands. 

Today I took a photograph of my initial . . ."M" for me!    I photographed vultures and the hawk.

Yet, today I felt nervous walking into the wetlands.  The rehab assistant told me snakes slither along the bank of the parking lot, and that was enough to scare me. 

Today I smacked things lighting on my legs. Mosquitoes, I suppose. 

Today I thought I heard gator growls, which were probably bull frogs.

But, I did see this tree with cotton growing out of it.

Who knows? 

Thursday I may wander off again into the wetlands, but with a heightened sense of beware.

 

the spring sleepover

I cannot tell you how  much I enjoyed our grandchildren the past two nights and three days.

Maddie and Oliver are not toddlers anymore (thank the Good Lord).  No.  These two are quite independent.  When it came time to bathe, brush teeth, and comb hair, these two did it by themselves, and quite frankly told me "they could do it by themselves".  What a blessing that was!

I realized that by 11:30 a.m. on Friday morning after watching a couple of hours of  TV, there was not much else to do .  So I took them to the Fort White Community Park. 

My reasoning was: fresh air!

 

Later, we came home and had lunch.  But, by then, it was only 12:30 p.m. and I knew I had a long afternoon ahead of me; so I suggested we go to Rum Island.  It's not the most exciting place in the world, unless you have your swimsuits on; but, we took them there anyway. 

"Be careful," I told them.

But, being Maddie, water is second nature to her.  She just could not stay out of the springs.

Meanwhile, Oliver played "Angry Birds" on my cell phone.

And Granddaddy watched from his wheelchair.

As simple as these photos may be, they are forever in my heart. 

March 29, 2012
 

grandchildren and sandy mounders

Merry Jennifer, Sam, and Maddie and Oliver came out today.  It's been a while and I really needed to see my family.

Maddie and Oliver suggested a movie ; but their Mom and I suggested exploring.

Eventually, exploring became digging in the sand.

The grandchildren were quick to tell me they took their shoes off so their mom wouldn't be mad.  After all, one time before, Maddie ruined her slippers in the sand.

I snuck upon Oliver and Madeline, taking their pictures.

When they saw me Madeline asked, "Nana, was this once an ocean?  There are shells in this sand." 

Now I should know that answer; but I said, "I'm not sure, Maddie.  But, this pile of limestone over here was part of the Florida Aquifer."

Then Oliver said, "Nana, I'll get you some of the pretty yellow sand,"  and off he went.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.  And Oliver pointed to a sandy mound built by the pocket gopher; ie, salamander; ie, sandy mounder. 

Then I had another science lesson to teach about the pocket gopher, or mole, that lives underground in tunnels and how they kick up fresh sand to form the mounds.

Oliver asked if I ever see their heads pop up above ground; and I had to tell him, "No, but I would like to."

I learned one thing today.  When my children were growing up, we took things for granted.  But, with this new generation of children, "because" is not an answer. 

As a parent and grandparent, we need to be able to explain facts for our children and grandchildren because our educational culture demands it'; and quite frankly, I wasn't one bit sure of my answers.  And I should be!

 

 

 

 

 

slow increments . . . a movie

For the first time in well over a year, Truett and I went to a movie.  That's true, sort of.  In the past, Truett and I have gone to movies; but today I took Truett to a movie.  I know this sounds trivial and maybe spiteful; however, in well over a year of our life, movies seemed unfathomable. 

A year ago yesterday, January 29, 2011, Truett had a tumor removed and our life, as we knew it, changed drastically.  Believe me.  Throughout 2011, I never, ever thought we would regain a semblance of our past "normal" life.  But today we kind of did.

We are now in a new year, 2012.  Truett is making progress, and I am making progress.  I will not stand for another 2011 . . . another status quo.  I have been trying to regain my life in slow increments, and am now trying to regain our life in slow increments.

Yesterday I told Truett I wanted to see Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.  My sister told me it was wonderful and that I needed to take plenty of tissues.  Originally, Mom was going with us, but she backed out this morning.  I know why.  She is 88 years old and did not want to get up at 11:00, eat, get dressed, ride to Gainesville, sit in a two+ hour movie, and spend another 45 minutes riding home.  No,I don't blame my mother at all. I only hope when I am 88 that I will still be watching TV.

Anyway, my biggest concern was handicapped accessibility.  I couldn't remember which theater we had been to where there was a steep incline to the second floor to view the movie.  I worried all morning long and decided that the movie staff would have to help wheel Truett up the steep ramp, if necessary.  And then, of course, help keep him from whizzing down the steep ramp and crashing through the double doors following the movie.

But, we were lucky.  The movie was on the first floor.  I loaded Truett up with popcorn, a diet coke, and M&M's and off we went to a special seating arrangement at the Regal Royal Park Stadium 16 on Newberry Road in Gainesville, Florida.

I loved the movie Extremely loud & Incredibly Close.  Truett thought it lacked excitement; but, you know what.  We went to a movie. I didn't cry, though.  I just chaulked it up to all my tears being expended in 2011. 

Next time, Truett gets to choose the movie! 

And folks, there WILL be a next time!

impromptu drive

This morning Truett asked what I was doing?

"Puttering around."

"Well, let's do something," he suggested.  "Let's take a drive."

Ugh!  You do know I drive everyday, everywhere, and it becomes quite tedious for me.  But I thought, "What the heck," and told Truett to wash up and we would drive somewhere.  Somehow, I thought about heading East toward the ocean, but Truett suggested we drive North.  So we did. 

After learning that if we drove north, we would eventually end up in Fargo, Georgia, I thought,  "Just great.  Maybe we'll head over to the Okefenokee Swamp and I can photograph alligators." 

Well, we were probably twenty minutes from Fargo when we decided to head back to Lake City for lunch after a leisurely drive to White Springs, Florida. 

This country store caught my eye. 1885!

Our next stop was Lake City for lunch. Luckily, we beat most of the church crowd, and I let out a sigh of relief because we were both dressed down.  .  .  way down for a Sunday church crowd. 

But, wouldn't you know it.  A dear friend of mine, Bonnie Taylor and her husband, Bob, showed up.  I was quite embarrassed because what I thought was going to be a spur-of-the-moment drive, ended up with me feeling like a scalawag. 

I did learn one thing though:  The next time Truett and I take an impromptu drive, it will either be East, toward the ocean where we know no one; or perhaps, we will dress up a tad more for Sunday lunch in Lake City. 

Oh, well.  So much for impromptu drives.

the will of the words

I took Mom to see her Oncologist yesterday.  I'll tell you now.  If you want an experience that lasts ALL DAY LONG, then YOU take my mom to the doctor. 

You do know she talks incessantly.  All the way to Gainesville, pointing out road signs, screeching, "Watch out fellow!", if a car gets too close to me, critizing anyone with a tattoo, especially if that person is a woman.  On and on and on and on and on . . .

But my mom has finally met her match with words with her Oncologist, Dr. Lynch.  (We love that man!)  You see, two years ago Mom said to Merry Jennifer, (with Dr. Lynch present), "I hope I haven't besmirched your name at this hospital."  Dr. Lynch was quick to point out that the word besmirched had not been used in fifty years or so.

Anyway, Dr. Lynch got my mother good yesterday.  Mom was complaining about her recent stomach virus and asked if he had any remedies.

"Certainly," Dr. Lynch said.  "A tincture of time." 

Mom was really wanting sympathy at this point, as well as a real remedy.  But then she thought about what he said, and asked, "A tincture of what?  Hey, are you being a smart alec?"

This is EXACTLY why we ADORE Dr. Jay Lynch!  My mom dishes it out and he slams it right back at her!  As Dr. Lynch says to the interns, "This woman wanted to die, but I wouldn't let her.  This woman is 88 years old and is as sharp as a tack.  Never underestimate this woman!"

Too bad I don't have the vocabulary my mama has. 

turkey or flu

I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have been sick since I have been married to Truett. . . 40 years.  I have also been wondering how this household would run if I got sick.  Well, the past thirty hours, plus a few, put my nursing and coping skills to the test.

Night before last I served a pre-baked turkey roast from Winn*Dixie.  After finishing the meal, I declared, "I feel awful.  I feel like I have poison in my blood!"  My head was swooning, my hands ached, and I could hardly sit up.  I told Truett and Mom I was retiring to the TV room and lying down on the couch, which I did.  After several hours, I got up, said, "Good night", and promptly threw up my dinner.

Yesterday arrived and I felt better.  I had arranged for a friend of Mom's to take her to the beauty shop since I had to take Truett to rehab.  Later, I learned Mom got sick as she and Lil were leaving the beauty shop. 

In the meantime, Truett felt woozy on the way home from rehab.  But that was nothing new.  Because of his lack of equilibrium, he almost always got sick, especially after Craig had him walking up and down steps.  Then the day got worse.

Truett threw up all afternoon and evening.  Mom stayed in bed all day long, feeling ill; and I ended up with a fever of 102.4.  I talked with my daughter and she said for me to take Truett to the doctor if he didn't feel better by this morning. (Fingers crossed.  So far . . .so good).  My fever broke during the night.  And Mom's doctor's appointment with her Oncologist has been put off a week.  So last night's dinner consisted of water.

All along I kept insisting, "Well, it can't be the flu.  We've had our flu shots!"  Mom and I think it may have been the roasted turkey .  Who knows? 

I found out one thing though during the past thirty something hours. I'm not a very good caregiver when I'm sick; plus, as much as I complain about my boring life, I'll take it any day rather than any of us being sick in this household.