2 weeks and counting

I've been a little up tight recently at work.  The fourth graders take the FCAT writing test on February 6 and 7.  The essay is what I prepare the students for.  Well, with about two weeks left I've read some of the students' papers lately and shuddered.  "That's not what I've taught them,"  I think.  Or "WHAT?"  Here's several examples:

I teach a phrase for an introduction to an essay that says,  "When I think of all ...  So the sentence should sound like this:  When I think of all the sports I play, football is the one that stands out in my mind.  (or something similar).  This is what I've gotten this week:

When I think of sports, football pops off my head.

When I think of all the sports, soccer pops in my head.

When I think of all the sports, my head pops off because I like soccer.

      now I'm really freaking out.  Then there is the lightbulb phrase used in a narrative (a story).  This is what I'm getting:

Then a lightbulb popped in my head.

Then a lightbulb popped off my head.

Then I saw a lightbulb in my head.

Heavens to Betsy.  What have I thought I taught all year?  Of course, I jest about the 3% of the children's abilities, not the majority of the students.  It does entertain me though.