I indeed observed a wrestling match. Because I was enthralled with the match and the wrestlers, I've looked up authentic wrestling terms to help you understand what is actually taking place.
In one corner we have Baby Face Roger
And in the other corner - The Punk.
Folks, this marriage has been going on for three months now and for all us ringrats, I know we're all in for some backyard rasslin'. DING!
Round 1: The Punk has thrown a body slam on Babyface Roger. The Punk seems to be carrying the match while Babyface Roger has a case of lead ass. The Punk has a strong submission hold on Babyface Roger. DING!
Round 2: The Punk has a choke hold on Baby Face Roger. What seems to be Baby Face's problem tonight? He seems to have run out of gas this early in the match. DING!
Round 3: Babyface Roger seems to have picked up speed. Folks it's almost like he's on the juice. DING!
Round 4: Hold it folks. The Punk has delivered a cheap shot. HE'S WORKING ON BABY FACE'S EAR! Now that's unacceptable in any fight. Babyface seems to have ring rust. I see we're now getting to a rushed finish. Babyface is tapped out. He's beat down. The Punk is a real heel. We're at the two -and a half count..DING! DING! DING!
The winner of today's dud of a match is THE PUNK! So long for now, but I anticipate these two will schedule a rematch soon.