This Thanksgiving 2013, Clay, my friend, Deanna, and I went to Merry Jennifer and Sam's house for Thanksgiving. It was the first Thanksgiving that my husband did not attend. As usual, the food was delicious and I was stuffed after the meal. This Thanksgiving was different for me. Merry Jennifer had asked if I wanted to spend the night with her family and have Clay come home from lunch early and take Mom her dinner. Clay agreed, so that's what happened.
After dinner and after the guests had left, Sam took Maddie and Oliver to play tennis in our brisk Florida weather. Meanwhile, Merry Jennifer and I visited Truett at Gainesville Health Care Center. When we arrived, we saw Truett wheeling himself from his room toward the dining hall. He spied us and motioned us over. GHCC had ordered a new tray which was attached to Truett's wheelchair. The nurses feel the need to contain Truett since he has had several falls trying to transfer himself from the wheelchair to his bed. The tray was snug against Truett's belly simply because Truett was not sitting up straight, but instead was slumped down and to the right.
Merry Jennifer and I waved at Truett and he yelled, "Get me a hammer!" Puzzled, we asked why. "Just get me a hammer!" he insisted. "Icicles! Got to break the icicles." I thought maybe Truett might be cold. Instead he kept asking for a hammer and repeating icicles. He said, "I can't get the translation right," as Merry Jennifer and I tried to figure out what he meant. We wheeled Truett into the dining hall where his food was served. He wanted no part of eating, including Merry Jennifer's famous pumpkin pie. It was very frustrating for me and my daughter. Dealing with dementia and watching your loved one be confused or unable to express himself is just devastating emotionally.
Eventually, we pushed Truett back to his room and he insisted on getting in his bed. We told him he couldn't get in the bed. Truett called out his brother's name, "Kenneth!" Merry Jennifer told Truett Kenneth was not here. Ultimately, we left GHCC and my daughter and I both felt saddened. In my mind I rationalized that Truett felt frozen and needed a hammer to break the ice to be free. In my mind I rationalized that the wheelchair tray was too tight on his belly and he couldn't move. . . thus, frozen. The last time he had a tray attatched to his wheelchair, my husband ripped it off and broke the wheelchair's arm off.
Then Merry Jennifer I drove to the UF farm to look for Sandhill Cranes. There were none so we headed back to her house just as Sam and the grandchildren came back from hitting tennis balls. And we settled in for the night by cleaning up the rest of Thanksgiving dishes, watching TV, and checking phones and I-Pads. I had the urge to call Mom to see if she was okay and ask about the Thanksgiving dinner Clay took back to her. But eventually I decided not to call. My friend, Deanna, was 'babysitting' Mom, so I knew she was in good hands, as well as the dogs and cats. I had agreed to 'get away' for a night and that's just what I did.
I went to bed around 9:30 P.M. and slept soundly. Being an early riser, I awoke before anyone else, completely relaxed and with thoughts of what a special family I have. I had to push the faint call of hammer and icicles out of my mind as I drove home this morning in order to cope with a new day. Thanksgiving 2013 was special. . . it was my first 'get-away' in two years.
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