It's Not Easy Being a Twin

When it comes to being a twin, I'll tell you right now,  "IT'S NOT EASY!"

My friend, Beth is always saying,  "It must be fun to be a twin," or "I wish I had a twin just like you.  Then I would always have someone to play with."

HA!  Then with a quick little smile I quip,  "Are you nuts?  How would YOU like to have a CLONE living in the same house with YOU?"

No, it's not easy being a twin, especially when your mother dresses you in exactly the same frilly pink dresses with exactly the same frilly pink bows for your hair.  And all I want to do is yank that big bow out of my hair and toss it across the room into the fish aquarium because I want to wear jeans.  But, I can't because the twins have to dress alike.  I WANT MY OWN CLOTHES!

No, it's not easy being a twin especially when we go to Pop's Drug Store.  I walk in the drugstore with visions of a triple dip of Tutti Frutti ice cream floating in my head; but when Pop sees us, he automatically scoops double dips of chocolate ice cream into two cones and says,  "Here you go girls.  Twin scoops for twin girls."  That's when I think I like asparagus better than ice cream.

As my twin and I begin licking our ice cream, we pass a table where two silver-haired women are sitting, sipping vanilla milk shakes.  They look up and croon,   "Oh, how cute.  Twins . . . and you look just alike!" 

Well, I'll tell you right now, I didn't feel cute.  I felt like a freak.  How could I not?  All I had to do was look to my right and see me twice.  Yikes!  That's downright scary!    In fact, I just had an idea for a new horror movie called,  "The Clones"  featuring a good twin (me) and an evil twin (her); and the good twin exposes the evil twin by peeling her face back, revealing a green warty monster.

 No, it's not easy.  In fourth grade my teacher, Mrs. Smith, decided to play a trick on my twin's teacher.  I knew something was suspicious when Mrs. Smith said,  "Merry, I want to trick Mrs. Baylor."  So being an obedient girl, I walked to Sherry's desk and sat down.  Then Mrs. Baylor walked in and said,  "Children, get out a pencil and paper for you weekly spelling test."

Weekly spelling test?  It's only Thursday!  Everybody knows spelling tests are given on Fridays.  No, it's not easy being a twin.  That day I numbered my paper from 1-20 and prayed I knew the words a day earlier.  Then Mrs. Baylor called out, "Number 1 . . . extinguish.  And I knew I was doomed. Extinguish!  What kind of word is that?  I didn't know if it began with an x or an s.  My head was swimming and my palms were sweating. About that time, Mrs. Smith walked into the class and whispered to Mrs. Baylor,  "I believe you have the wrong girl in your class."  Then both teachers threw back their heads and laughed.  That's when I wanted to extinguish Mrs. Smith.

No, it's not easy being a twin, especially when I look at photographs and can't figure out which one is me.  Am I on the left or am I on the right.  Mama says I'm always on the left and my question for her is "Why wasn't my hair combed pretty like hers?  Why does my hair look like a rat's nest?"

It's not easy being a twin, especially when one is spinning too fast on the merry-go-round and her hands slip off and sends her sailing into the slides; and then she ends up with a broken front tooth.  "Now we can tell you apart," shout the mean kids.  "Hey, snaggle-tooth!"  And I want to stuff a rag in my mouth.

The worst thing of all about being a twin is having five other sets of twins in the same grade.  One day Miss Prizzle, the music teacher thought it would be cute to have all six sets of twins dress up like Pilgrims and sing their own special Thanksgiving song.  That's when I looked all all those faces in the audience and wanted to throw up because they're watching a freak show where everyone looks alike.  We may as well have all run away and joined the Ringling Brothers Circus.

It may not be easy being a twin; but I will say my twin is my best friend FOREVER!